[[ ✖ a ℯ r i d ℯ s c ℯ n t ]]

2012-03-05T08:48:00.001-06:00

been blogger lazy lately...i'm in a bad mood right now :/ so no big post or anything.. sorry..just kinda out and about lately,the last 2 days nick's taken me out to eat,it's been cute ^_^ even though he was coffeed-out he still took me to my favorite cafe ♥its just crazy how good things have gotteni'm not used to it, and i'm afraid to.but i like the way things are going and i'm trying to accept it.i really do love him more than anything...
ugh, it's snowing..and for some reason i cried last nighti was thinking so much, and then i just lashed outi'm just glad no one was there to hear itif no one knows, no one will worryand as usual, no one will carethats fine with me.
finally wrote chapter 13:http://thosethingsishouldhavesaid.blogspot.comcheck it out.

ugh -____________________-'

2012-03-01T07:35:00.001-06:00

i'm glad i write better now e_e i'm re reading this story i wrote when i was 12/13 years old called Orphans XD i sucked pretty bad....i'm so tired..yesterday was day 1 of not talking to Nicko :(so i'm kind of down, but i'm okay.he snuck his phone and texts me whenever he canhe always says how much he misses me,and he can't wait to get home and see his girl ♥i'm excited to see him too :)i miss him so much already, it feels like its been almost a weekthat's how slow yesterday went.my computer isn't acting right, so i've been on my momsbut not for long, cuz computers are getting tiringi'm on them for 4 out of 5 classes every day,i've found myself needing a breaki never thought i could get tired of computers..i'm not, but now if i'm on for too long it makes my eyes hurti don't like that @_@ lolhow will i ever be a graphic designer if i start to hate computers?? that wont work at all..i feel like i did so much yesterday @_@took pictures, makeup, designing layouts & learning coding, schoolwork, art, Melonie stopped by, searching for Francesca the whole schoolday, making dinner, cleaning, ~~trying to get my poop unstuck from the side of the toilet bowl cuz i pooped at a 60 degree angle~~ ughh, and my grandma's sick.so i have no ride home, so i gotta stay till 2:40 and ride the buswith all these people that either dislike meor annoy me -___-life will be better again, soonespecially when i get a jobhafhafjd;aefjk;nhjecuz im bouta be broke lolz fmlbut forreal, i'm running out of moneyi gotta pay for soccer, my phone bill, and getting something for Nicki'm pretty sure i don't have enough :|and i kinda need turf shoes cuz i sold my cleats yeeears ago...F A I Lunwise decision... but i thought i was done with sports for goodi played hockey, baseball and ran trackblehh... okay, pointless postoff to browse photobucket -_-

From My Beefee Rabbito! ♥[[I-Fairy Trinity Violet Lense]]♥ + more :)

2012-02-29T20:14:00.000-06:00

i just got my package from Rabbito the other day :)

if i look a little bit cuter than usual, its probably what you think,

Circle lenses!

but first i'll show you the other things,

here's this adorable panda sponge ^_^

i plan to take a bubble bath soon and have this little cute thing float around with me :3

i named it Pongo-chan ^_^

in here was also a note~

From: Your Beautiful & Gorgeous Beefee ♥ she is both of those :3 you forgot to put Kawaii ;D

it was long ^^ which made me happy, and she has such cute stationary all the time *o*

but that's cuz its rabbito, she's just cute ALL the time xD

here's the alice in wonderland planner she got me :)

inside is a journal, it says HAPPINESS

"appreciate the life. it gives you the chance to love, to work, to have fun and to enjoy the stars"

♥

which is just the kind of thing i've needed right now ^_^

it really lifts my spirits ♥

and now for the main event~

my new purple contact lenses :D

Introducing: I-Fairy Trinity Violet

ta-daaa!

[[with flash]]

they make my eyes so big :D i love it!!

and of course my favorite color in the whole world <333

thank you so much Rabbito-Chan ♥ you make me feel pretty! XD

↓ ↓ ↓ more pictures ↓ ↓ ↓

i look so dolly ^_^

thats all for now~~

kaomoji i found on my old computer.

2012-02-29T19:44:00.000-06:00

i didn't make them, but i used to use them a few years ago

yo can use them if you wanna :3

so disorganized .___.

i attempted something like gyaru makeup..

2012-02-29T06:12:00.000-06:00

this is my fail at gyaru makeup xD

once again i tried to put on contacts, but i cant get them on @_@

i'm so bad at that.. but i will get it >:D

Rabbito sent me some purple ones in the mail ^_^

i wasn't gonna post about it until i got pics in my lenses,

but i might just post about it anyway and do the lenses later on,

cuz i can't get them on xD

even tho its a fail... i love this pic ↑ hehe

i also don't own any falsies, so i drew on the bottom lashes xD

i'm so lame ;-;

idk if i'll ever try this again...

just cuz i failed it so bad e_e

if i do, i'll do it the right way.. lol

just wanting to dream

2012-02-28T11:31:00.000-06:00

here comes the torture.

2012-02-28T07:01:00.000-06:00

here's what makes the week suck.

added to the fact me and him both woke up, upset

because we both had terrible nightmares...

nick has Kairos this from tomorrow, for 3 days.

[[click the word for more info]]

it's a retreat he has to go on because of his school,

which is a Catholic all-boys school, that requires this for graduation.

if you've read my blog for some time or read his,

you'd see that he has Irritable Bowel Syndrome,

whereas whenever he leaves the house or goes somewhere he's not comfortable, his stomach starts to hurt really really bad.

he's gotten alot better now, but i'm still worried.

it's going to be really hard for both of us.

i wrote him several letters to take with him and i'm giving him our scrapbook that i made of us to take with him. it's got all of our pictures and most of our memories from the day he asked me out all the way up to this summer.

-----------------------------

it's going to suck really bad.

i wont be able to talk to him at all.

they disallow cell phones and electronices there,

so we have no way to talk...

i'm going to go crazy.

if i don't blog the next few days, its because i'm either

moping
crying
praying
worrying
stressed
sad

and/or all of the above.

most likely, all of the above.

over all, i just really hope

that he's gonna be

alright.

i'd hate to be the bearer of bad news...

2012-02-27T11:41:00.001-06:00

psh.blah.meh.ugh.no.

2012-02-26T21:35:00.001-06:00

besides seeing nick today,

today sucked as bad as yesterday.

i barely saw him yesterday,

but i was glad i did.

afterwards, back to feeling shitty.

shit is shitty.

and this week is going to suck.

i'll tell you why tomorrow.

i've got to sleep

and fail my art class.

ttyl.

i guess i'll just stop it all together.

2012-02-26T00:18:00.007-06:00

i don't know why i try to in the first place, no matter what "good" i think i'm doing it all just blows back up in my face.. every friend i've ever had has always asked for my help with something, whether its art or advice, i'm always there. but it seems like in the end, they never actually needed me in the first place.. in the end, i haven't actually helped at all. people say that i make such a huge difference, but i really make no difference at all. i'm just speaking or writing empty words. i say them with actual care, its not like i'm trying so hard for no reason? these words i give to any person i care about is from my heart. but they mean nothing to people. not really anyone.
all i want is for people to be happy, to get out of thier hard times and feel better. i try so hard to help them that i forget to remember how i'm going to feel afterwards, which is always the same thing,useless. that's about all i've ever been anyway is useless and all i'll ever be. or at least that's how it feels.

you're small. useless.

you're wierd. useless.

you're in the way. useless.

you can't understand. useless.

you don't get it. useless.

you need to stop talking. useless.

you need to talk more. useless.

you're pissing me off. useless.

your feelings arent a big deal. useless.

maybe i just do too much or something. duing the day, the first person who comes to me with a problem, they become the person i care about the most for that day. this day is about them and how they feel, and i'll set a goal to try to get them back to feeling better at the very least and at the most, feeling thier best.

its obviously impossible to do that no matter what is said by others or thought by myself, it's exactly what my dad has always told me about helping people. no matter what you say to anyone, they will always just do what they want. add a thick spanish accent and a bit of smoke texture to the throat, that's my dad. who's always been right on things of that matter, and i wished i listened to him more. but its too late now... i've already dug myself a hole and dirt's following in already. and as always, i forget to bring a ladder and leave my shovel up on the surface. i'm just going to be like this forever, unless i become a hermit. which i'm already close to already, i might as well convert for certain. it would be a lot less painful but alot more lonely, which could be more painful, but i'd rather hurt from loneliness than be told i'm not a big deal or to shut up or that people think i'm stupid.

but i am stupid. if i wasn't, i wouldn't still be in highschool. i wouldnt be jobless. i wouldn't still live with my mom. and people wouldnt be telling me i'm stupid or that i don't understand anything. or telling me how i feel in general. i just hate that. it's not like anyone ever asks really anyway, not that my feelings matter since everyone i know says thier "not a big deal" and to "just get over it" then smile at me and tell me to be that way. coming from people that i think i trust that i consider my friends, it just makes me want to hate them. i'd never do that to them. i don't have alot of friends, and then the ones you have and are closest to you make you feel like that, makes me not want any friends. i only have, what, three anyway.

right now i'm just like whatever. i'm in a bad mood, i just got off the phone. every email or site i have an account on, i'm just tempted to deactivate except twtter and my blog. mean i use this more than any other site anyway, never hurt before. i have the phone numbers of all 3 of my friends so its not like i'm missing anything. i've spammed my blog link enough that everyone knows where to find me and half of cincinnati knows where my house is from back when i used to be semi-popular. maybe i could go incognito. debating. idk. im just in a bad mood.

html basic - how to post an image

2012-02-23T10:00:00.009-06:00

i know there are some people who are new to blogging and don't know as much as everyone else does about html, so here is one of the most basic need-to-know codes for blogging:

how to post an image

even though there are other ways of it, like copy and paste now (with advanced browsers and stuff) and just uploading straight to posts, here's how it all began

this is the basic image code.

replace the text "your image url here" with an image url.
[[you can image url by right clicking on "copy image url"]]

i'll use this image as an example

that image had to be resized,
the original dimensions are1024 x 768
all i did was change the width to 400,
and it automatically resizes the width as well

to resize it by just width, add in width="400"
or you can use a different number
for my template, my post width is 400 max, that's why i used 400

to resize by height, you can do this about the same

i'll use this image as an example again

this one has the height as 200

to add a link to your image, use this

now if you click this image,
it will take you to my blog homepage

linked images are what make buttons like the one on my sidebar,
which are useful when you're a blogger
to advertise and people to credit you

hopefully this helped some of you newer bloggers :)

[[new pictures]]

2012-02-23T07:09:00.002-06:00

show me how you love,

2012-02-21T09:08:00.001-06:00

studying love styles in psychology, atm.

i decided to post 3 that remind me of me and nick's kind of love

there is no one kind to describe us,

i think that's a good thing.

wanna know more?

[[click here]]

yesterday was amazing :)

2012-02-21T07:18:00.000-06:00

me and nicko hung out all day.

first he came over and we hung out,

then we went to a pretty cemetery.

i took a couple of pictures on my camera,

but i forgot the memory card

and i am cordless so i can't get them off xD

oh well, he said we can go again another day :)

this time i'll be prepared :D

we went to Brueggars Bagels and i got an iced coffee and a sausage, egg and cheese bagel sandwhich. nick got a plain bagel and cream cheese.

afterwards we went next door to UDF

then got this shake made with s'mores ice cream

but it tasted like honey..

we went to mount storm park and played around like kids, taking turns on the swing and going down the slide together

he showed me his old "castle" from when he was a kid

and we just stood back and looked at the view

as we were going home,

one of our songs came on <33

this one is "Sure Thing" by Miguel

the lyrics are so cute,

i couldnt understand him at first

but after i looked up the words i was like like aww <3

anything new:

making transparent backgrounds on skull dividers and diaries/checkbox pixels

i'm bored...

skull dividers

2012-02-16T10:20:00.003-06:00

look in my eyes, i'm jaded now, whatever that means...

2012-02-16T09:45:00.000-06:00

i'm quickly becoming obsessed with The Used again.

It's like over the years, i completely forgot what they sounded like and all of thier songs, which doesn't make any sense because they're unforgettable.

i'll hopefully see nicko today, it depends if he has enough gas.

he wont let me buy him any, so i'm assuming he'd just take the Jeep.

i feel like making pixels, i guess i should feed my addiction.

it's not a bad thing, since people like them.

i think i'll make more dividers and maybe some skulls and bats

i'll attempt a ribcage, only having MS Paint tho, i wish it saved as transparent -_-

i have alot of ideas for new images.

and i found a site that's JUST LIKE the old myspace...

fyi : joining asap. &heart;

i just wanna make layouts again

even if no one i know has an account.

caring is not an option.

creeping in art class.

2012-02-16T09:19:00.000-06:00

with my sneaky mp3 player camera lol

we had a sub...

erin, is in the zone.

^ she was gluing weave to a water bottle... not sure why though...

drinking from the weave bottle.

i'm not sure...

confusion is the worst feeling.

2012-02-15T11:24:00.001-06:00

i'm tired @_@

2012-02-15T07:06:00.000-06:00

idk why, but i slept horribly last night (> _ < )

now i'm super drowsy :( and i wanna go sleep more

i'm glad nick got me all those snickers,

i'm trying to use them to wake me up xD

no sugar rush yet~

but i'm waiting for it.

today is gonna be [[and already is]] boring

but at least i got a 4 day weekend :D

i got my art project fixed up, so i'm not worried about it anymore,

now onto the next piece in my series.

the first one was kinda gothic-style,

the second one was pink and orange and smiley,

this next one is gonna be hippie-ish :)

hopefully it turns out how i want it to.

my series' theme is different sides of me,

i hope it comes out the way i want.

+♥「ＨＡＰＰＹ.ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥＳ.ＤＡＹ」♥ +

2012-02-14T18:04:00.037-06:00

My boyfriend surprised me today xD i wasn't expecting anything. it was wet outside so he said he wasn't going anywhere today, sadface. then he started playing xbox and ignored me and i was mad -_- then he told me to post it on facebook O_o idk why.. then he finally starts talking to me and says his dad has to use the phone... then shows up at my house with a bag of snickers and a bouquet of gorgeous smelling flowers <3

i hopped in the car and we went up to the mall, i got a new lip ring but i havent put it in yet, its a big black hoop, i'll get more colors when i get my job back [[determined]] we went to the chinese restaurant in the mall and got a meal to share, root beer, orange chicken and noodles <3 ↑ ↑ isn't he cute?

Nicko got a picture of me mid-forktwirl xD

we're taking pictures of eachother now :D

how the noodles got all the way across the tray like that,

is something the world may never know.

i sat by him and we took more cute pictures :D we are overdue for new ones!

then he spontaneously starts attacking me with noodles in the middle of our photoshoot xD my camera wasn't off so i took a pic by accident as i was flailing xD

he said this is his new fav picture of me -_- turd lol

his eyes were closed xD i still love this picture though

hehe cheek kisses <3

later, he dropped me off at home, hugs and kisses of course :)

i was sad to leave though, i hate going away from him.

here's a picture of the flowers he got me~

they smell like heaven *o*

and here's the candy <3

it's all so yummy, i'm stuffed ^_^

and happy, this was the sweetest valentines day yet :)

thank you baby!

on the phone till sleep ♥

Valentines Day Letters!

2012-02-14T11:32:00.002-06:00

i finished these finally, you can use them in signatures or whatever, i've been making them for months but never finished. i had a-h since maybe october, and yesterday and today i finally finished the rest in honor of valentines day. enjoy ^_^

pixels - diary and checkboxes

2012-02-14T09:17:00.001-06:00

for valentines day, here are some cute little heart journal icons :)

feel free to use just let me know and/or credit me ^_^

_____diaries_____

and for your wishlists or goals and what not, here are some check boxes in different colors for you all to use if you please~ there are two, a plain box and a check box

_____checkbox_____

| | | |

HappyValentinesDay[[♥]]

2012-02-14T06:14:00.000-06:00

update;

2012-02-13T08:44:00.002-06:00

new stuff happening lately...

cut my hair

made some new friends

got my shoes from YesStyle

made NANA characters on Sims3

playing with Photoshop again

moving things from my resource site

i saw my Nickobaby today :) i was happy ♥

he was only going to stay for a little while,

but that apparently changed.

and worked [happily] in my favor :]]

tomorrow we have a date for Valentines Day,

right now, we don't even know where yet.

but we want to go somewhere haha

i'm making him a really cute card :)

i'm happy about it.

i hope everything turns out good :)

meowmeow~

Backgrounds - Butterflies

2012-02-13T07:32:00.002-06:00

repost from my old resource site, HAIJYNX.

i use this blog for everything, so i'm just going to move it all to here :)

made some new friends :)

2012-02-12T19:14:00.000-06:00

daniele - jackie - bethany - meagan - me

yesterday, i met my friends Meagan and Bethany for the first time off-line. They were going to Northgate Mall (the mall by my house) and she posted it in a status and i got sooo excited ^_^

we all met up and i was happy to meet all of them. we walked around and shopped and we got pieces of cookie cake, and took pictures in the bathroom :D

i was excited because i'm not that social of a person >_>

i don't really go out alot to hang out with friends and stuff and i don't have many, so i was happy and they're all super nice and friendly :) i miss hanging out with people like that

i love them already <3

new photoshop picture + TAG from pu3 (and KONAYACHI sorry Dx) ~~

2012-02-10T11:16:00.000-06:00

my cover photo on facebook, first photoshop edit in a while..

i love it :)

[EDIT] I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT KONKON-CHAN TAGGED ME TOO D: SO I'M EDITING THIS POST AND ANSWERING HER QUESTIONS TOO. I'M SORRY KONAYACHI D: [/EDIT]

Rules:

1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the 11 questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her.
6. No tag backs.
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

__________11 things about me__________

i have been sick for 2 days, and i'm finally feeling better :D

if someone constantly bothers me about doing something, i wont do it or i'll take a long time on it

i never wear matching socks, except for knee socks [[occasionally]]

one thing i really hate is being copied or imitated

i'm 19 and have been engaged since i was 16 to my dreamboy ♥

i love tattoos and piercings, alooot.

i love to do daring, adventurous things, i just don't often get the chance

i have been skateboarding since i was a kid, mostly to get around, but i know some tricks and secretly wanna be a master xD

i sing loudly in the shower when no one is home. shut up you know you do it too xD

my favorite band is and will always be HIM.

my favorite color is blueish purple.

__________Questions from Pu3__________

1. If you could have chosen your own first name, other than the current one you have, what would it be?

Esparanza. it's my favorite name, and i think it fits me better than "Asberry" which i hate that name.. that's why i always go by nicknames.

2. Name your worst fear

thunderstorms > _ < it's a long story

3. If you are able to do magic, what kind of power do you want to posses?

i'd love to have telekinesis, not to read minds, but to move things with my mind and be able to fly.

4. what's your no.1 most favourite manga/book of all time?

my favorite manga is Vampire Kisses ♥ i also love KouKou Debut

5. Left-handed or right-handed?

ambidexrous, dominant right

6. If you could adopt one personality trait from someone you know, what would that be? And from whom?

i'd take the trait of never getting jealous, from my old self. i'm still seldom jealous unless its about my boyfriend. i have reason's that i'm like this now, but i do miss not having to worry about certain things..

7. Describe your style

i'm a melting pot when it comes to style. my biggest influences are 80's, Punk, Emo, Hippie/Boho, Japanese Styles (from Visual Kei to Harajuku) and Grunge/Skater styles (because i used to/still do skate) so i'm pretty alternative, but i'm always me :) my signatures are chains and dark makeup, you almost never see me wtihout those.

8. if you had to lose one of your 5 senses (hear, smell, sight, touch, taste) , which one you give up?

idk, that's really hard :( i use them all... i guess smell. i have a huge love for smelling things, but that love doesnt override my love of visual Art or music or of course, food :P

9. What's the weirdest name people ever called you

i had a friend before that called me "cereal", "cheese" and "waffle," but i'm sure "Squidget" was by far the strangest of all nicknames

10. If you could get rid of one of your pet peeves (bad habit), what would it be?

i scratch my head and pull out my hair all the time, it makes me get on my own nerves -_-

11. What's your dream job?

i've always wanted to be an artist or a lead singer in a band, those two dreams have never changed :)

__________Questions From Konayachi__________

What's your school grade now?

13 :P i got held back in highschool so i'm taking a 5th year

How many languages can you speak atm?

4 but only fluent in english, basic in others

Do you write daily journal besides blog? Ex: diary.

sometimes i use my phone, email drafts or Penzu to blog privately

Do you take note of each and every task you have to do?

usually, so i don't forget things

What's your current favourite song?

right now its The Best Of Me by The Used... my song of the day xD

Do you have a pet? What's that?

it's a ladybug i just found, i call her Mifflez

Do you wish of going back to the past right now?

hmm.. not right now

Do you prefer counting or drawing?

drawing ^_^

Have you ever gone to a movie alone?

usually

What holiday do you like the most?

hmm... Valentines Day

Which subject do you understand the most? 

Psychology

__________My 11 Questions__________

1.if you could be any animal, what would it be?

2.what's your sign, and do you think it fits you?

3.if you had one month left to live, what are some of things you would do before you died?

4.who is one of your heroes and why?

5. what's your favorite food?

6.if you could go any 3 places in the world, where would you go [in order]?

7.if you could swap members with one member in a band, which band and which member?
8.what electronic device do you use most?
9.Which is better... Milkshakes, Malts or Smoothies?
10.Which language do you think is the true love language?
11. What is one thing you're looking foreward to right now?

__________11 People__________♥ Rabbito ♥ Melonie ♥ Bella ♥ Konayachi ♥♥ KenKen ♥ Wynter ♥ Nari ♥ Blaze ♥ ♥ Xixi ♥ Joee ♥ Aidyl ♥

super old survey thing i found, and i'm bored xD

2012-02-10T10:15:00.003-06:00

wow i just found this super old quiz i stole from rabbito 3 years ago! i love my "random posts" link or i would have forgot all about it xD well i'm bored so i guess i'll do it again...

1. Last beverage→ water
2. Last phone call→ Grandma
3. Last text message→ Nicko
4. Last song you listened to→ Lunacy Fringe - The Used
5. Last time you cried→ Yesterday

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice? more than once
2. Been cheated on? unfortunately
3. Kissed someone and regretted it? everyone has
4. Lost someone special? many :/ but they're in better places
5. Been depressed? its not uncommon
6. Been drunk and threw up? never thrown up from alcohol.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1. blue-ish purple
2. light teal
3. purple-ish blue
4. black

HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends → recently, kinda
2. Fallen out of love → nope.
3. Laughed until you cried → not in a while
4. Met someone who changed you → yeah..
5. Found out whom your true friends were → yahh ♥
6. Found out someone was talking about you→ hah, yea.
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Nicko, duhh :3
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life?: Nick, Melo and Livy
9. How many kids do you want to have→ 2
10. Do you have any pets → just that ladybug...
11. Ever been on an airplane?: once.
12. What did you do for your last birthday→ got taken on a dream day by Nicko <3
13. What time did you wake up today →  5 -_- mehh
14. What were you doing at midnight last night → watching cars and coughing
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for → to see Nicko again
16. Last time you saw your father→  Christmas
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → wish i had a job again
18. What are you listening to right now → nothing
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom →  yeah, he's a strange old man at my church lol
20. Have you ever driven a car?:  yeah e_e i don't like it
21. Have you ever gone to Starbucks?:  yeah....too expensive. i prefer Panera.
22. Would you rather read or watch t.v.?:  tv.. eff reading, hah
23. What's getting on your nerves right now?→  my mp3 not connecting =_=
24. Most visited webpage → youtube and blogger

1. What's your name→ Asberry Ann Quinones
2. Nicknames→ Asha, Kitty, Aeri, Berry
3. Relationship Status → still taken :)
4. Zodiac sign: Aquarius
5. Male or female→ Unclassified... xD
6. Elementary → FCCS
7. Middle School → North College Hill
8. High school→ Northwest High
9. Eye color: brown, the tint changes depending on my mood
10. Hair color → it was black my whole life, now it' looks like it's turning a super dark reddish brown
11. Long or short hair: medium long-ish
12. Height?: 4ft 10in... small -_-
13. Shoe size?: unsure @_@
14. Favorite fruit?: mango or guava
15. Summer or winter?: SUMMER
16. Favorite vacation?: new york!!
17. Do you have a crush on someone?: yes...Nicko! my boyfriend hehe
18. What don't you like about yourself? → lots of things...
19. Piercings → lip, 4 in my ears now, and my plugs are 1/2 inch
20. Tattoos → heartagram rosary on my ankle, 17 in roman numerals on my arm
21. Righty or lefty → mostly Right handed

FIRSTS :
22. First surgery → no surgery!!
23. First piercing → ears
24. First best friends: laura lee
25. First house location: fort campbelle Kentucky!
26. First sport you joined → gymnastics
27. First pet→ 2 turtles...
28. First vacation → puerto rico!
29. First concert → rob zombie and godsmack
30. First sleepover: briana, idr her lost name
31. First Job: taco cabana @_@

RIGHT NOW:
49. Eating →nothing
50. Drinking → nothing
51. Wearing → stupid uniform =_=
52. I'm about to: do nothing
53. Listening to → Coldplay
55. Waiting for → school to be out
56. Thinking → too much

YOUR FUTURE :
57. Want to live → with nicko!
58. Want kids → eventually
59. Want to get married → mhmmm :D
60. Careers in mind → artist, photographer or musician—or all of the above

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes → eyes, but my boyfriend has the sexiest lips...
69. Hugs or kisses →kisses but only from Nicko <33
70. Shorter or taller → ALL RAT INFESTED
71. Older or Younger → ALL RAT INFESTED
72. Romantic or spontaneous → both..mostly romantic thooo
73. good body or good personality→ my boy has both ;)
74. Sensitive or loud → sensitive but loud is fun!
75. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
76. Humorous or serious → Both
77. Trouble maker or hesitant→ not hesitant, but not scared of anything

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger → yeah lol it was a girl, and she looked scared
79. Drank hard liquor → yeah lol a long time ago
80. Lost glasses/contacts → unfortunately =.=
81. Went on a date → yesss :)
82. Broken someone's heart → it was an accident :[
83. Had your own heartbroken → yea, but it's irrelevant to me now
84. Wanted someone you know you can't have → yea it has happened
85. Been arrested → no but a cop took me home a few times before
86. Turned someone down → yes
87. Cried when someone died → yes
88. Liked a friend that is the same sex? → haha it's happened

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → no....
90. Miracles → yes
91. Love at first sight → sort of.
92. Heaven → yes
93. Santa Clause → never have
94. God → yeah, but i don't think he's the same one the bible describes
95. Kiss on the first date? → nooo
96. Angels → yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? never
99. Done something you regret? doesnt matter, cant change it lol
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? lmao!

lava lamp.

2012-02-10T09:38:00.000-06:00

cruisin' with SoLo...

2012-02-09T11:25:00.000-06:00

SoLo Creations is a car group my boyfriend's in, they do meets alot and they all live really close to me. yesterday was fun, we all hung out at the mall. my friend Nikki almost ripped off my boob O_O she's awesome though, i was happy to see her ^_^

short post, i know, but i ended the night with a cow sticker :D hanging out with Nick tomoro again~ yay ^^

so boreddd....

2012-02-07T11:20:00.003-06:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

today was a boring day,

nothing really exciting happened today.

i got dr.pepper, fruit snacks and pizza for lunch,

got away with having headphones in the whole day

my art project sucks -_- i can't draw an eye...

which is usually my strong point

but cuz of the angel i keep making it look bug eyed.

it's pissing me off, greatly =_= [[ugh]]

[[me and briana in 3rd bell]]

ABC

A - ANIME : NANA &; Beck:MCS

B - BEVERAGE : Vanilla Cream Soda

C- CRUSHING ON : Nick Mutters :)

D - DOING RIGHT NOW : waiting to leave school

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO : no one is easy to talk to

F - FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT : Ricochet - Shiny Toy Guns

H - HUNGRY FOR : chicken teriyaki [x] miso soup

I - IN LOVE WITH : Nick :)

J - JUGGLE : between nightmares and reality

K - KILLED SOMEONE : wanted to =.=

L - LONGEST FRIENDSHIP : Megan Heckmann, 14 years

M- MILKSHAKE OR MALT : malts 4eva!

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS : 1 sister and 1 half-sibling

O - ONE WISH : to be happy all the time

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST : Nick :D

R - REASON TO SMILE : my lip doesnt hurt now :D

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD : Rose - Black Stones

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP : 5:30 AM

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR : u dont need to know dat :o

V - VEGETABLE YOU LAST ATE : carrot *_*

W - WORST HABIT : being paranoid!!!!

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY : never had one o_o

Y - YOYOS ARE : awesome :D i'm good at them

Z - ZODIAC SIGN : aquarius

so incredibly bored...

i just wanna go home already.

30 more minutes...

blahblahblah. ugh. my lip T - T... [[superbowl]]

2012-02-06T09:10:00.000-06:00

pictures can't do it justice,

but god, my lip is so huge.

i took 2 aleve's so it doesn't hurt, but it's not helping the swelling T-T

To Do List:

put in my last check
make chicken
eat chicken
watch NANA again

i might go buy a lip ring, as in a hoop...

the stud looks cute, but its sooo irritating

it keeps getting caught on my tooth

and the back is making a cookie-cutter shape inside of my lip

and it looks so gross and hurts

i'll be glad when it heals >.< ugh

yesterday i went to nick's to watch the superbowl, there was sooo much food :D

his mom is the best cook, like ever

when i go to visit him, i always secretly hope that i stay for dinner lol

there was skyline dip, spinach dip, barbecue, potatoe skins and she had root beer :D

i was half way in heaven haha

since me and nick both don't much like football,

we used it as an excuse to cuddle for a few hours on a chair xD

i loved the halftime show :D

madonna is amazing, i always loved her even though she's not my favorite

i always thought of her as a wannabe Cher even though they are not the same at all xD

it's so wierd how everyone has a predecessor in a way

like how they say Madonna wishes she was Cher,

Lady Gaga wishes she was Madonna (even though she's a Kerli Copier >.<)

either way, i still like all of thier music, especially Cher ♥

i'm so jealous that both Cher and Madanna both still have great bodies and they're like 60+

My mom is almost 50 and they both look younger than her O_O

i wasn't expecting LMFAO to be there and def didnt expect Madonna to be shuffling O_O

and M.I.A. was there <333

Nicki Minaj was too, but i always loved M.I.A.

im glad the Giants won, just because i love New York xD

other than that, i don't care about football ^_^'

i just like going to the games and hanging out, and its fun to play

but to watch...it's just really boring...i don't get the hype

but it does bring people together

and gives me an excuse to go somewhere and pig out on my birthday weekend ^_^

my lip hurts...

2012-02-05T11:11:00.000-06:00

2.4 - I'm 19 - I don't feel this old [[♥]]

2012-02-04T23:11:00.001-06:00

i wasn't expecting the best day and i didn't sleep well, but the day ended up really awesome ^_^ normally my birthdays end up going really bad so i was prepared for the worst basically..

i woke up to some presents, this little plush doll,

some chocolate and a necklace from my grandma

then i got a few cards in the mail

some were from people who i didn't remember,

after i'd just woke up, my dad called and sang me happy birthday

i was happy about that ^_^ an old sunday school teacher called too

_____________________________

i was on the computer for a little while everyone was gone,

then i was talking to nick on Facebook and he wasn't very talkative

so i of course, was sad...

then a couple minutes later he calls me and i open the door and he hands me this

a big "i <3 u" brownie cake :) i was so happy i started to cry

and he gave me big kisses and told me he loved me

then i put on a jacket and we left to the mall and looked around a while

the "sand whore" thing is an inside joke,

the first time we went to the mall after he got his liscence we were about to pull into this parking spot and the middle eastern woman in the spot behind it decided to drive foreward

and he exclaimed "ugh fucking sand whore!"

i usually don't like racist-sounding things like that, but it was so funny xD

iced coffee <3 just like we got the first time we ever hung out ^_^ ♥

we went to toys r us to buy legos, but HUHIFDJLAHFJ expensive omg

i was so mad, lego's used to be like 20$ what happened D:

then we were looking at bikes and stuff and he found a go kart

he's like "i would drift the f~~uck~~ out of this thing" xD

but it turned out he couldn't fit on it :( sadface.

_________________________

and... i got my lip pierced

it didn't even hurt @_@ i was prepared

it felt surprising, but no pain until later when it started to swell up

then it started to hurt =.=

my mom and tehya got me a cookie cake as well

i was very surprised >.<

it even has a guitar on it ^_^

this was a very good birthday :) thanks for all the wishes :D

new mp3 player via lightinthebox.com

2012-02-03T15:58:00.000-06:00

finally got the mp5 from lightinthebox i've been wanting for a couple of years

it has a camera which takes pictures, videos, recordings and works as a webcam

you can play NES games, listen to music [[w/or w/out headphones]]

play videos. has a calculator and other tools

it's got almost as many features as a cell phone~

it's alot more pink than i thought it would be, a bit darker than in the picture

but it works like a charm and has a good display

it comes with all the good stuff, which i was surprised

i thought i would get only the mp3 but it came with more,

including usb and chargers and earbuds

here is the picture quality:

not the best, but it's clear and better than webcam q

a little better than my phone, as these are taken in the dark but not pixellated

here is a video i took with it

i consider it a good buy :)

i had to wait patiently to get it though,

i got super saver shipping [[the cheapes]]

estimated 10-20 days for delivery

but it took 4 days less than a month so i was worried

but good timing, getting the day before my birthday :)

i'm glad i got it :)

Random Posts Code~!

2012-02-03T09:35:00.001-06:00

thanks to this site i now have a "random posts" widget :)

wanna try it out? [[click to visit a random post]]

if you want this for your blog, go to your "Edit Html" and go to your <head> and paste this code under it

after that, then you paste this link anywhere on your blog

you can replace "Feeling Lucky" to something else

if you want more useful quick things, try this site

all credit goes to [[here]]

meowmeow~

2012-02-03T09:07:00.000-06:00

yesterday my mom went to the dollar store for me and picked up 10 boxes of my favorite chicken ^^

orange & teriyaki chicken

i'm very thankful for the dollar store...

idk where i'd be without it sometimes xD

i'm so bored right now, there really is nothing to do in school..

my teacher just gave me a chocolate bar and some cookies for my birthday

i wasn't really expecting it~~

i don't like Hershey bars [[at all]] but i can deal

i still politely said thank you and ate it, even though i dislike her

i feel pretty though so does nicko

i saw his FB status and our f~~uck~~ed up ohio weather made him sick

he's been coughing alot, im surprised i'm not sick

in ohio it'll be summer one day, winter the next

just go back and forth and back and forth

the other day i didnt even wear a jacket the whole day,

but the day before that, i was freezing

it hasn't gone above 60, but 60 is good enough for me

i'm happy for the warmth

tonight me and nick were going to cruise downtown with his car club,

but since we both don't feel good idk if it's happening...

either way, we're still gonna chill and cuddle

which im excited for because i need it right now..

hopefully today will be better.

2012-02-02T09:02:00.000-06:00

yesterday ended as a good day, hopefully today does too

me and nick are supposed to hang out for the rest of the week so i hope he keeps his word on it, he's one of the only people i want to see or talk to right now

i still feel but my stress rash is gone now,

it was icky i have a bad fear of skin diseases so it was freaking me out

right now, i'm just really hungry

all i can think about is food.

i barely ate yesterday and the feeling of hunger is caught up to me now its obnoxious

the "x" button is missing on this computer so instead of "x" i pres ctrl+v and paste one

MORE STRESS! jk its been missing for a few months

some freshman popped it off -_- makes me angry

i wish netflix wasn't blocked at school,

i'm feeling greedy for indie movies right now

i havent touched my computer at home or even my xbox

i've been laying in my bed or the couch watching tv

i just blog at school and a little on my moms pc yesterday

still tweeting sometimes and facebook with my phone...

i wish i could dig a hole, bring some chicken nuggets and nick in it with a nintendo 64 and stay there forever

that would be a nice life -_- i'd love that right now

i cant wait to see him, he's the only person really able to cheer me up

i'm glad his schedule is clear and i can be with him

i guess i'll get back to work

sick | stressed | nana

2012-02-01T17:13:00.000-06:00

i went home early today, barely made it into the schoolday.

i woke up sick several times last night,

too many nightmares didn't help either.

i havent really been talking to anybody, just posting random statuses and tweeting occasionally.

don't really wanna talk to anyone.

not that anyone actually cares anyway, it's "not a big deal"

people think i'm mad because things "arent going my way"

no, it's because things arent going right, period.

you can't sit there and tell me that all of this stuff piling up on me, plus being kicked when i'm down by practically everyone i know, is something that you would be okay with if it happened or was happening to you.

people have bad weeks, i bet you do too, i know you do.

and this week is the week of my birthday, so i of course want a really good week.

and it never goes that way.

so many things keep happening and overlapping eachother, i broke out into a stress rash, which practically never happens.

headaches, stomach aches, i can't concentrate on anything.

i'm trying to do schoolwork right now, and i can't get above a 75 on a quiz when i normally get 10 points higher, which is frustrating after reading over that lesson for an hour.

but at least it's passing as a grade..

i'm on honor roll again too, it's not like it's karma that all of these things keep happening to me

i'm trying my best and everything is driving me crazy.

all i wanted was a good week.

that's not happening.

knowing the way things work,

i'll have a bad birthday too.

i have a new favorite anime series,

i finished the last episode 2 nights ago, but i'm ready to re-watch it already.

to make it anymore obvious, it's NANA.

i might like it so much because one of the main characters remind me of myself, which i'm sure just by looking you can tell which one. Nana Osaki on the left side.

she's really prideful and hard on the outside, and doesnt smile alot. but on the inside she's still sensitive even though she's dark and has a sweet laugh. she has a cold demeanor but a kind heart and is still really sweet. she's had the same lover for a long time and have a really close relationship. even when he leaves for Tokyo without her, and becomes famous he still wears the necklace he gave her even in promo photos. i don't think either of them had any lovers while they were separated besides eachother either. so faithful ♥ nana is also one of those girls who girls say "if you were a guy i'd be in love with you" or "sometimes i wish you were my boyfriend" which i've gotten alot from girls.. i'm assuming it's a compliment but at the same time does that make me masculine or something? (._. ?) she also wears dark purple eyeshadow alot like i do, that excited me. haha.

nana k (Hachi) kind of scares me sometimes @_@ i believe in love at first site if it happens one time, but it happened to her tons of times.. she's really loud and talks alot and seems to annoy her best friend Junko alot and she's really hard on her. i feel bad for her because she gets hurt by guys so much, but it only makes sense since she'd never had a guy that was only a friend, she only sees guys as people to date. but then again, her dream is to be a housewife. Nana Osaki is the opposite and never had girl friends, her first one is Hachi who is Nana K, she named her that because she reminded her of a dog that followed her everywhere.

they met on a train to tokyo,

they are the same age, going to the same place and even the same name. Hachi talks about herself for the whole 5 hour train ride and and Nana's listening and laughing because she is ridiculously hyper and hachi can be ridiculous sometimes.

5 hours later

i went to a skatepark with Nick today and busted myself attempting to skate a bowl. i'm glad i didn't go for the big one like i wanted too lol

there were people there filming and they were really good @_@

even Nick was intimidated a little haha

i hope i'm not in any video and that they blur my face >_>

we went to McDonalds and then he let me drive his car...

it was so scary D:

i'm glad i got to see him ♥

it had been a while

fuck you.

2012-01-31T11:48:00.000-06:00

blah blah, bad day in a row #3

this morning i was really beyond angry

my old homeroom teacher ran into me today and was all nice asking if i was doing well and stuff. the he says "you know, i don't use your name, but i always use you as an example to my freshman on what not to do, so they don't get held back a 5th year like you did."

in my head, i'm like: ...seriously?

F~~UCK~~ YOU!

you asshole! my sister is one of your freshman!

do you really think she doesn't know who you're talking about?

i didn't even get held back for failing my senior year.

i failed sophomore year and made up my credits.

okay, i'll use this here to clear up some things about my time in high school for you.

i was doing good until the second half of my freshman year when a teacher accused me of wanting to kill her and tried to get me expelled. i was not. i was venting in my notebook which she had no right to read and she took it during lunch and copied it and sent it to the office.

she failed me, so did 2 of the teachers that were friends with her.

Friend #1 always took my paper and wouldn't give it back after showing it as an example. she treated me bad and even used me as an example of a witch talking about the Salem witch trials. she didn't let me take my final exam and wouldn't let me make it up.

Friend #2 told me that my parents didn't raise me right to act in school and made me cry, because she told me i couldnt work with my friends anymore and i told my friends she said it. just because my group failed to execute a play properly only one time on one assignment that we werent even sure how to do.

as you guys know, i also take online classes. i have re-taken 4 or 5 classes because they lost my records. i've had to redo physical science and earth science for now the 3rd time, i took english 2 twice, now i'm retaking world history and even geometry. they are trying to get me to take Algebra 1 again. it's not fair that i am re-doing these and i have no choice.

there are also 2 teachers that made deals with me, like "if you do this work i'll pass you" and then they give me just below a passing grade and wont let you fix it. it hurts. and it sucks. i really do try and i get nothing out of it.

I am not a bad influence.

if i were a bad influence, and an example of what not to do,

i would have dropped out of highschool and did nothing with my life.

but i'm not. i'm back in school.

i'm taking 2 classes that count as college credits,

a college prep course, and re-doing my online courses..again

even though it's unfair that i have to do them again.

there are classes that i failed on my own.

algebra, geometry, american history, geophysics

but i have made up those credits

they lost my records so i'm doing them again

i even passed all of my graduation tests with high scores

i'm not nearly as dumb as you treat me.

and...

after all these things that happen that make me hate school and want to stop trying,

i still came back and i'm still trying my best.

because i want a good life.

so fuck you if you think i'm a bad influence.

new button!

2012-01-31T06:22:00.000-06:00

here's my first button in a really long time~and you can request one of course ^_^if you wanna be affiliates, just wanna link me or credit me for something, or if we're just friends, you can always grab my button and put it somewhere ~if you'd like one, feel free to comment me here or on the pixels page.

heart dividers

2012-01-30T09:36:00.000-06:00

there are lots of these!

i made alot of these since i was bored...

if one might match your blog theme go ahead and use one ^_^

just comment me here and/or tag me and credit or link me:)

hope you like them!

::: a l t e r n a t e :::

[kyary inspired] heart blush!

2012-01-30T00:22:00.000-06:00

wow i look super girly =.= but i think i look okay xD

i'm not sure if it's that visible but i tried heart blush!

kyary does this style in her blog header [here]

rabbito showed it to me after shaving the heart on my head~

i thought it was a cute idea ^_^

so i tried it out :D and idk why i took the girliest pics ever...

~chu ♥

might try this again in another color

or style xD

it was fun though, editing too

i love doing purikura-like pictures

i don't know why xD

dr. appointment >.< ugh

2012-01-27T11:49:00.009-06:00

i hate the evil once-a-year appointment that i have to do

with my doctor to refill my prescription =_=

i wish i didn't have to keep doing it,

i really do hate it.

------------------------

i got to see nicko for a while today, i was happy bout that

it had been a week or so since i seen him...

we had fun ;]]

now i'm home and i got our Guy Fawkes masks in the mail

i'm excited to customize them and things

then take pictures ^_^

i want to get my other things in the mail already..

like my shoes from YesStyle and my mp3 player

i hate le waiting ><

h e a r t k i l l e r

2012-01-26T10:21:00.000-06:00

today is just a very boring day,

i forgot to bring lunch money so i'm gonna be hungry for a while.

i'm not too happy about that.. but i do have ramen at home.

i'm not in the best mood right now,

bad dreams really do get the best of people,

especially the kinds that repeat over and over

the kind that bother you for years.

but nick gets his car back soon so we can finally hang out,

and my birthday is coming up which i hope goes well...

with my luck it wont but i can dream, haha.

my dreams are bad too though :/

i don't want to go to lunch, i just want to go to the buffet

i think i'm going to go to the chinese buffet for lunch.

having money is a nice advantage,

i almost wish i had a friend to go with me,

6 plates of chicken taste better with people to look at you in amazement as you do it.

i hope i get the nice waitress on the left side,

she's my favorite.

i always leave her nice tips because she's the sweetest of all of them and always smiles and remembers me, asks me how i'm doing and things.

i hope that she too is doing well, i'm glad there are people like her.

she's always happy, and when i see her even when she isn't serving my table, she still says hi to me and it makes me happy.

it's like we're friends but we're not because we don't know eachothers names,

so i guess we're just nice aquaintances,

i like it though.

i wish there were more nice aquaintances like that.

just people that you see when you're out that say hi and act nice

you would never feel lonely

Scribble - Self Portrait

2012-01-26T10:10:00.003-06:00

drawn in MS Paint with a mouse

we match :)

2012-01-25T23:12:00.004-06:00

nick cut his eyebrow too ^_^ he's so cute~

he took that with his cell phone camera...

it's as good as my real camera D:

i need a phone cam that good xD

look at my terrible lowQ pic next to his HQ one :( lol

thinking about getting a new tattoo soon of a 17 in roman numerals

it's nicks favorite number, then he's getting 18 for me

my next one is going to be a huge chopper down my thigh

nick was bored and sent me that pic ^ where he drew a motorcycle freehanded D:

he doesn't even look at them that much,

with as much as i look at bikes you'd think i'd be able to do the same

but i can't...and i refuse to blog that failed attempt XDXD

it is too terrible for the internet...

i'm pretty excited about my tattoos...

so is nick, he's apparently crazy about them on me xD

i wish he would blog again,

i miss his posts, they were always so long xD

--------------------

another cool thing we're doing is getting Guy Fawkes masks

it was his idea to get one, then he said we both should

i do love that movie, i even did a monologue from it before

i also support "Anonymous" xD

i already ordered them and when we get them

we're going to paint them and customise them

i'm thinking of cute girly stuff for mine,

i'm so excited!

then we're gonna take pictures :)

you know they'll be posted here before anywhere else.

share the excitement!

random scribble~

2012-01-25T11:47:00.001-06:00

doodling on MS Paint during class..

edits for Briana

2012-01-24T10:01:00.000-06:00

c o n f e d `a n t

2012-01-24T09:21:00.003-06:00

i keep getting closer to the way i want to look, besides my teeth being horrid and totally can't-standable, i love my hair and how i do my makeup, my stretched ears and my clothing for the most part. but people think it's a bad thing. what would you rather me be? my normal self-loathing depressed self? or my 1up'd pretty-feeling slightly sad self? i would much rather be the second one... ~~fuck~~ being depressed, it sucks.

My "Therapy Session" on PsychSim5.

2012-01-24T09:16:00.000-06:00

for my psychology class, we're doing psychsim and right now i'm talking to a "computer therapis" which is basically a chatbot.

he congradulated me on being Mr.T, but won't give me chicken.

that's bull. xD

click the images to enlarge and read :)

Heart Border Scrollbox Code!

2012-01-24T07:11:00.000-06:00

i have been working on this for a little while, trying to make it for my friend's sidebar and i finally got it! :D

this scroller was requested by melonie :D finally after a few weels of frustration i finally have got this coded :D woo! after i found the very extemely simple mistake i had made i felt super retarded! xD hope you like it :D

------- -copy the code and place it on your blog --------

Poem - Nocturna #4

2012-01-24T06:25:00.000-06:00

lift her up to knock her down, no more
outside at midnight she wakes
once again to breathe true air down to the hot cotton cushion where most would find discomfort
there is a method to her sadness
and there are shackles at her feet
trapped in a world where all conform
while she herself desires to be the same
but she's too true to her own to change
her desire to cover every inch of her body in art
to be able to see through the ears she hears through
to scalp herself with symbols
everyone sees it as harm
she sees it as only loving herself
an action she thought herself never to be able to go through with,
but it becomes reality
just right now
the etches, the sketches
the writings, the emotions
they flood her world
but now the people can hear the water rushing in
she hopes they drown in her knowledge and admit she has a point
not everything seems sensible from the outside,
because no one listens to the inside
maybe they're intimidated, they could be scared
is it so bad that she knows thier pain?
all she wants is for you not to feel alone
because neither does she
no one wants to be.

This one of the coolest videos i've seen.

2012-01-24T06:21:00.000-06:00

wouldn't let me post the real things, but click here
Check out this great MSN video: Incredible Street Artist
this guy makes miniature paintings,
with his fingers
in 3 minutes.
they look like a painting that would take a month because they're that beautiful.
i want to try this out, i'm inspired xD
please watch this for me :)

if you have a Facebook...

2012-01-23T22:09:00.000-06:00

you should do me a favor and "like" my blog's page :)

i don't spam or update on it too much so i wont annoy you XD

if i do you can always unlike me :)

let me know if you want to be affies or anything and if you have a FB "like" page, i'll add it to my page's likes and show you support :)

http://www.facebook.com/aeridescent

still taking requests for pixels, buttons, banners, etc!

thank you <3

i shaved a heart into the side of my head.

2012-01-23T19:24:00.000-06:00

I saved my last breath for your window, to write you this song.

2012-01-23T11:13:00.000-06:00

"The Acoustic Funeral for love in Limbo,

We're dancing with tags on out toes...

I saved my last breath for your window,

to write you this song"

that song has been stuck in my head alot lately.

bad stuff going on lately, not happy

some BITCH think its "okay" to tell my boyfriend she's going to kill me and take my fiance from me!

HELL THE FUCK NO YOU'RE NOT!

anyways... i'm working on a new site button for affies etc..

i forgot that i didn't have one anymore O_o

thats what it looks like so far,

gonna make something else on it so it's not so boring ><

[[i'm so super bored right now]]

another somethng that is not good is that i'm starting to go back to my old ways. i was always really nice, but i've been trying very hard to control my temper. its not working anymore. i want to go off on people so bad when they piss me off or hurt me and that makes me want to hurt them back even worse but i have to stop myself because i know the power of my words. but when they provoke me and send a smiley face to my pain and tell me to "be that way" a little piece of hatred loads into my harddrive. more than one person does this to me, i am sick of it. i'm done caring about other people who arent going to care back about me. every person i feel important does not give a shit about how i feel and i'm just now realizing it. then every time i talk to someone online and they offend me and i get off so i don't hurt thier feelings. i'm glad i have a journal or things would be worse.

i'm not holding back anymore.

i always went by the golden rule "treat others the way you want to be treated" but i forget it goes the other way around too. if they're going to be mean to me, i'm gonna be mean back to you. maybe then they'll realize that it's not worth starting with me in the first place...

happy things now

tweet from rabbito the other day~

sooooo excited about this

i got a big pink envelope i'm filling with things for you too ^^

now that i've got the money i'm giving you awesome stuff too

i will learn to properly wear contacts just for you

i always wanted pretty purple eyes, i'm super excited right now about that :D

rabbito-chan has always given me awesome presents over the years,

i finally have the chance to return her the kindness she's given me

ever since a little over 2 years ago she's been a awesome friend to me,

she was my first friend on blogger and my first malaysian friend

and i was her first friend from the United states ^^

i call her my beefee :)

i loveLOVElove her very much

i'm sorry that this was such an post ><

just haven't been having the best of days...

hopefully things will get better soon, especially with my birthday coming up

i'll be 19 years old.. can you believe it? ugh

and i feel like i just keep getting younger and younger looking...

all of my friends are younger than me and look more "matured" than i do D:

life is unfair xD

Poem - Nocturna #3

2012-01-20T06:50:00.002-06:00

till the end of the day,
she does nothing by wait
Just to go outside to asphyxiate with the very air she breaths
Thinking back to the times where no one understood her but Valo himself,
She realizes that nothing has changed
Scared to death
Heartache every moment
Shattered by hope
Just like Saint Valentine
Death is in love with her and she is the Sacrament
She dances with death on her toes while awaiting for her own acoustic funeral
They are all the heartless,
Because they can never be satisfied
Disarmed with the loneliness of everyone she loves,
Poison girl will sit alone and dream
She's drunk on shadows just like everyone thinks
How will it be to prove wrong every voice she hears?
She always wonders, but never succeeds
Because she's exactly the way everyone thinks
Her body runs on emotions rather than blood,
But she can't help that..
Her only mission is to pronounce the happiness of others,
Yet again, she will never succeed
Look at the stars and smother her heart, open her up
She's Only an urn of ashes waiting to be spread over the shore
how could you let her fall apart?
God, You are not who the Holy Book says that You are
Some wounds are never meant to heal,
They stay open instead of scar,
But which is worse?
pour in the salt and listen to it sizzle,
Remind her that she's still alive

i feel like a bad ass.

2012-01-19T07:44:00.004-06:00

i used to be such a rebel when i was younger.. if i had started this blog when i was in 8th grade instead of 10th, you'd see what i mean. i had so many fun and crazy memories with my friends <3

today i did something semi-rebelious and then another~

[[courtesy of twitpic]]

i shaved cuts into my eyebrows :3

i did both sides, but 2 on 1 side and 1 cut on the other

then today at school i did something pretty awesome

i shaved Melonie's head :D

not the whole thing.. but just an undercut

which looks pretty badass :D

i did it in the school bathroom this morning xD

i was a n00n but i'm proud of it :D

there's alot of ":D" in this post....

but i'm in a good mood, i can't help it!
stole this picture from Melo's blog, didn't i do awesome??

it makes me want to go ahead and do mine,

but i'm doing both sides instead of one, and i'm gonna wait till its warm.

cold weather is evil -_-

sad cloud, happy cloud :3

2012-01-19T07:17:00.000-06:00

drawn in photoshop cs3

i'm a panda :3

2012-01-18T09:20:00.001-06:00

[[click the picture to enlarge it]]

Forever21 has the cutest sweaters :o [[+vlog]]

2012-01-18T07:49:00.000-06:00

you know how it goes when i'm bored -_-

my blog gets covered in self photography

why does that look like a fart face?

anywayz~

i never really looked at Forever21 clothes before,

but i have now,

and omg i love thier sweaters and this tank top @_@

i would layer that over my stripe tank

& the kisses sweater? valentines day everyday!!

you all know how i feel about the color gray ♥ it looks best on me,

better than black. but you know my obsession with hearts and b/w stripes

this store has become heaven~

more black and white and hearts :D ahh~

i will only choose 2 if i buy any,

leaning towards the kisses and the gray sweater,

cuz i already have a black cardi even though i really want the one with the hearts >.<

i hope they're still available by march when im supposed to have my job back...!

-------------------------------------------

here's my vlog from yesterday

-------------------------------------------

you guys need to give me some topics so i can stop being so boring! xD

well thanks for reading

Poem - Nocturna #2

2012-01-18T00:49:00.000-06:00

nobody knows the trouble she sees
Sitting outside
Saint valentine by her side
Because who else will she ever need
The oxygen is what kills her
She chooses a different air to breath
Because whats taking her life is life itself
But there is no point in wanting to leave
Nocturna subsides as she lies outside
In the middle of a winter night
Although she hates winter; she hates the cold
But maybe she likes the pain
She likes the way it cracks her skin
Briskly; but she longs for heat
Feelings that flow from breast to bone
The warmth of the thought masks the trembling
Her eyes close as she wonders through the oasis of her own mind
Enchanted as it may be, it isnt there
Life once again takes it's toll as hope shatters her heart
And the missing piece of her staring out into the clouds
Because her Saint Valentine sitting with her now, is only a mirage
What she misses is the real thing
Thus her fantasies ignite into blue flames
She slips off her shoes as not to wake her housemates and crawls into Her empty bed,
Saint Valentine, wont you come save her from the seisure of a winters night
Free her from her troubles in the way you know her so well to desire
Embrace her within your arms and keep her safe
Let her feel your breath,
Your hair brush her neck,
Give her what she says she wants and she'll show you back her love without words
Communication in only deep breathes and stares, until she can think no more
No thoughts are no worries
You can't keep away for long or she'll remind you that you're the same
You don't have to wait for her to invite you in
There's not one thing forbidden
Her solitude remains stable, even with you in it
Because for you, Saint Valentine,
She's smitten

new self pixels :)

2012-01-17T17:10:00.000-06:00

do you recognize any of these 5 outfits?

my guitar shirt? my zombie clip, striped socks, cheatah print shirt and even my new years outfit :)

im happy with them ^^

pixel paintings

2012-01-17T08:01:00.000-06:00

i made my first set of these about 2 years ago,

here are some i did today.

made solely with the new microsoft paint program.

i'm debating whether to do canvas paintings of these,

because i really like them.

Poem - Nightmare #5

2012-01-16T21:48:00.000-06:00

what is there to hope, to say, to feel,

or to wonder?

is there any way you can take it in?

is there any way that you'll really get it?

i'm not just any person, there's no simple thing about me

everything i do, there is at least 5 reasons

experiences behind those reasons

and the reasons why they happened.

there's not enough time to explain.
there's too much to learn, there's too much to see.

there is just way too much about the true me.

and it doesn't matter to anybody

that's the way it feels.

you call it twisted words, but it's just me being real

don't take the time to ask how i am if you don't really care how i feel

don't tell me to get over anything or forget about the past,

because you know you won't do it either

i forgive, but i don't forget.

my memory, my heart and my brain won't let me

partially because it's wrong,

and partially because it will happen again.

i will never forget for a reason.

whether my way worked or not, i now what to do or what not to do,

you wouldn't want me to make the same mistake twice,

now would you?

i don't avenge nor do i get revenge.

i do not laugh towards the pity of others and i do not laugh at thier pain

no matter how many times you wish me dead

this will all still stay the same.

i will not change.

now look me in the eyes, you can't see through me.

i'll bet you every penny to my name that you can feel my pain

i don't have to tell you for you to know, but you wont stop

nobody will stop, no matter if i say please or not

we just go in circles

the fighting, the swearing,

the accusals. i can't handle it

you think i can't handle anything

you think i never can

you try walking even one step in my shoes, and say that to me again

you want to die now, don't you.

don't you. all of you.

try one more time, just do it

you want to push me over the edge,

now don't you.

what? what else did you tell?

what words came out of you?

are you done?

why don't you tell me.

why don't you tell me why you're not done.

do you feel provoked?

do you feel the pressure?

do you feel how i feel?

this is me, everyday.

and you do not understand that.

you don't understand that everyone talks to me like that.

because all i ever do is fail.

and you know that voice, you know it well

you prove it right

when the end is near and the time has come,

no one will know because it will already be done.

and no one can prevent anything,

because they wont know.

you can't watch me constantly and i act very well

you wont have a clue that i'm hurting,

i'll just mask it like i always do and not talk about it

i'll become a doormat for everyone like i was woven out to be

a carpet, the shaggy kind.

you can't say you don't like it.

because that's what you have always wanted

i may choose to make your wish come true

but do i really want to be a shag carpet, for you?

i'd rather dissappear.

i eat chinese food religiously.

2012-01-15T19:03:00.000-06:00

today is pretty "meh," not terrible, but not necessarrilly good either.

i actually went to church for the first time in a while,

and i was forced to go to sunday school, which i wasnt happy about.

but it really wasn't that bad.

i went to the older class, it's college age people,

they're all a little older than me, but only by a year

and i know them so it wasnt too awkward

but i'm supposed to be in college, so they put me there

as opposed to going to youth group like i used to.

i've always been so wierd about my faith and believing in God. i believe he's real, but i don't believe in all of what the Bible says, and i don't like being religious, or church, or anything. i just never much liked church after i was little, as i grew up and found out more about myself i made more of my own religious practices. still a christian, but my church was talking to my Christian friends instead or singing in choir and stuff. I still had Christian morals, prayed for my food, prayed before bed and prayed when i needed help, and i still thank God for the good things that happen to me.

today i got to share my way with the class,

and they admired me alot and listened to me about it

because i was right, it's not about today's views of religion,

you can do anything "religiously"

if you brush your teeth every day, you do that religiously.

it doesnt mean that because you believe in God you should shove it in everyone's face or that you're better than anyone else because you believe.

Christianity isn't a religion, it's just believing in Jesus

the Bible says you should fellowship with other believers,

and i did by talking to my friends that believed,

because church isn't the building, it's the people in it.

we listened to this poem today in sunday school

and it's really good, i agree with alot of what he says in it

most of that he said, has been how i viewed it when i got older

i'm still confused on what my religion is, but i do believe in God and that Jesus is/was real, history proves that, but i still have alot to learn about everything.

for now i just lable myself as "confused"

--------------------------------------

today i also went to the chinese buffet~

my favorite place everrr to eat at, i just love it all!

i ate 4 plates, but i took pictures of only 2

egg roll, sweet & sour chicken, spicy chicken, general's chicken, crab rangoon, chicken on a stick, mushrooms in oyster sauce and an egg pie :)

if you couldn't tell, i freaking love chicken!

this is egg drop soup and dried noodles, my absolute favorite

because i love eggs just as much as chicken :)

and my always, making my own sunday :)

brownies with sprinkles, chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream

there was almond candy at the bottom too,

ahhh sooo good!

i wish i could just eat there every day.

if i was rich, i would totally do it. xD

for now i'll stick to dollar store frozen meals,

they totally do it for me.

speaking of that, i'm gonna make some of that instant mocha cappuccino!

thanks for reading ♥

Drawing - Brielle

2012-01-14T19:58:00.000-06:00

5B Pencil | Watercolors

my last day at Target was today. [[dollar$tore$hopping]]

2012-01-14T19:00:00.000-06:00

portraits drawn by my grandpa James, R.I.P.

today was a little sad for me,

it was my last day at target.

i was pretty upset about it :/ im probably gonna walk up there

just to mope around the store and zone it,

just so i feel included.

i'm pitiful -_- xD anyways~

used my last day of employee discount to buy this adorable hedgehog wallet <3

i don't know if you guys know this, but i have an unhealty obsession with Sonic The Hedgehog, i just don't mention it often... my sister on the other hand, she will. xD

i also went to the dollar store and spent 13.50 on a bunch of awesome stuff :3

the orange chicken was awesome :D

i can't wait to taste the teriyaki,

the fortune cookies and cappuccino are pretty legit too,

and only a dollar :)

i loooove the dollar store <3

i got some stationary type stuff too, i got a big envelope to send brielle her portrait i drew, which i will post in a minute.

it's my first commission (paid artwork)

and i am verrryyy proud of myself for it!

i used to never be able to draw from a picture,

but now i am awesome at it :)

thank you Mrs.Stewart, my art studio teacher,

i couldn't have done it without you!!

--------------------------------------

anywho~ for the new stuff soon?

i should have the next chapter of my story up by the end of next week,

and i want to make a video, but not sure on what...

i'll upload a song though, probably a capella, that i wrote

possibly..

well that's all for now :)

there was more, but my computer erased it because it's slow :(

well, follow me on twitter if you may :)

twitter.com/cemetaeri!

pictures from morp~

2012-01-13T16:35:00.000-06:00

fun fact: according to one of my classmates, if you google "morp clothing" my picture from morp last year pops up! crazy xD
anywayz.......
i would rather not enlarge this because it is a bad picture of me e_e but that was my morp outfit [[lol]] and my first [and last] morp i've ever worn shoes other converse O_o i almost felt wierd without them on.
surprise-surprise, more pictures xD
not as many as last year though, i was in yearbook class last year or i wouldn't have been in all of those pictures xD

here's me and Melo's pretty self :3

if i hadn't left my bag on, this would have been super cute xD

i'm not sure why i look confuzzled here, cuz i think i wasnt, xD

our eyes are shiny :D

me and my sister, i look super absent-minded xD

me and keleigh with her epic miku wig <3

us again ;D

and that is all :D

i'm going to go drink coffee and eat biscotti and possibly pass out...

goodbye for now..

♥

Photography - Tsuki-Chan

2012-01-13T16:00:00.001-06:00

This is my sister in her favorite hat,

Tsuki is a nickname she gave herself,

after a wolf character she writes about in her story that is based on herself.

i think she looks adorable here <3

took this in the school library this morning.

Poem - They're all wrong

2012-01-13T11:16:00.000-06:00

from depths of my mind, to the flow of the sea
sometimes i wonder, of just what could be
when the world on it's own, nothings matters, but it
when the world as a whole is all selfish, i can't help but sit
and watch
as they all fight
for who's right
when they're all wrong.

from the heights of my sight, to the clouds in the sky,
sometimes i wonder, is it just you and i?
when the world on its own, nothing matters, but it
when the world as a whole is all selfish, we can't help but sit
and watch
as they all fight
for who's right
when they're all wrong.
when the world as a whole just selfish, we can't help but want to fix it
and watch
the world turn
as they all learn
that they're all wrong.

i just got hit in the face with a chocolate coin.

2012-01-13T07:17:00.000-06:00

it's exactly what it sounds like.

some random person in the hallway threw a chocolate coin at me,

and hit me in the face, and it kinda hurt.

but i'm glad they did it,

because i hadn't eaten one of those since i was little

and it was sooooo good...!

anyway, it's morp today.

my 5th morp, can you believe it. lol xD

i remember every morp like it was yesterday..

Freshman year: Me and Courtney were the TuTu Twins [r.i.p.♥]

Sophomore year: punched somebody for whatever reason and was in ASA on morp

Junior Year: I looked super anime-style for no reason!

Senior Year - I apparently looked like an emo pseudo-lolita serial killer

Super Senior year: everyone just says i look cute xD

i love my zombie hairclip :3

i'll post full outfit pictures later today,

im taking pictures with a couple of people and i'll add them to this post :D

Twitter HTML Code (old)

2012-01-12T07:27:00.001-06:00

if you have seen the twitter feed in my about me page,

or you don't like the new twitter gadget,

i found the old twitter html code if you want a feed like mine :)

just replace where it says

[INSERT TWITTER PROFILE NAME HERE]

with your twitter username, and then you're done :)

you can always edit it a little bit to make it more custom for you,

that's what i did :)

[[credit: here]]

updates to my site :)

2012-01-12T07:21:00.000-06:00

if you haven't seen yet, i've made a few changes to my blog,

i added a vlog page, which is now under my navigation,

it has all of my videos even from my old channel~

i also moved the search box to the side and a recent comments section,

thank you to Susan for having awesome codes on her blog :)

on the other side, i've started a small list of posts

under my "about aeri" section, has some of my favorites

and under "youstolemyheart"

is has posts about me and nicko's dates ^^♥

i updated my about me page, so now it has a news feed on it~

it's twitter, but it's linked up to other sites so it does a news feed like fb, i thought it was a cool idea and so far it looks cool ^_^

it might be messed up though, i'll have to go look,

i hope it isnt =.=

yesterday me and boobear when to mcdonalds,

mocha frappes are one of the meanings of life, i swear.

congratulations to Bella for getting recognized for her poem "Tired" in the library :) i'm glad someone finally saw your talent!

[[check out her blog here]]

My friend Melonie's blog has also come along quite nicely :)

[[check out Melo's blog]]

------------------------------------------------------------

more new things added to my site,

i'm going to start making resources again :)

if you use photoscape, check out the curves i just made!

i also have a tutorial to make a newspaper...

should i use my old resourse site, Haijynx,

or should i just keep it on this blog?

that is something i am contemplating right now,

either way, new pixels, dividers, and some other things too :)

keep in touch ^^

i love my striped socks

Curves - BurningLeaves

2012-01-11T22:29:00.000-06:00

these are curves made for photoscape :)

i don't know if they work on any other program.

to use them, click on Bright,Color then click on any of the curves,

or press Ctrl+M to go straight to Color Curves

then click Load (Curve) and click the one you want to use.

*for those who don't know, photoscape is a free photo editing/decorating software

Click here to download BurningLeaves!

Curves - Contradiction

2012-01-11T22:28:00.000-06:00

these are curves made for photoscape :)

i don't know if they work on any other program.

to use them, click on Bright,Color then click on any of the curves,

or press Ctrl+M to go straight to Color Curves

then click Load (Curve) and click the one you want to use.

*for those who don't know, photoscape is a free photo editing/decorating software

Click here to download Contradiction!

Curves - AmethystGlow

2012-01-11T22:22:00.000-06:00

these are curves made for photoscape :)

i don't know if they work on any other program.

to use them, click on Bright,Color then click on any of the curves,

or press Ctrl+M to go straight to Color Curves

then click Load (Curve) and click the one you want to use.

*for those who don't know, photoscape is a free photo editing/decorating software

Click here to download AmethystGlow!

Curves - If I Were Green I Would Die

2012-01-11T22:19:00.000-06:00

these are curves made for photoscape :)

i don't know if they work on any other program.

to use them, click on Bright,Color then click on any of the curves,

or press Ctrl+M to go straight to Color Curves

then click Load (Curve) and click the one you want to use.

*for those who don't know, photoscape is a free photo editing/decorating software

the title is a play on a song, it goes "i'm blue, if i were green i would die"

Click here to download If I Were Green I would Die!

Curves - SeafoamSmiles

2012-01-11T22:17:00.000-06:00

these are curves made for photoscape :)

i don't know if they work on any other program.

to use them, click on Bright,Color then click on any of the curves,

or press Ctrl+M to go straight to Color Curves

then click Load (Curve) and click the one you want to use.

*for those who don't know, photoscape is a free photo editing/decorating software

Click here to download SeafoamSmiles!

[[ ✖ a ℯ r i d ℯ s c ℯ n t ]]

ugh -____________________-'

From My Beefee Rabbito! ♥[[I-Fairy Trinity Violet Lense]]♥ + more :)

kaomoji i found on my old computer.

i attempted something like gyaru makeup..

just wanting to dream

here comes the torture.

i'd hate to be the bearer of bad news...

psh.blah.meh.ugh.no.

i guess i'll just stop it all together.

html basic - how to post an image

[[new pictures]]

show me how you love,

yesterday was amazing :)

skull dividers

look in my eyes, i'm jaded now, whatever that means...

creeping in art class.

confusion is the worst feeling.

i'm tired @_@

+*♥「ＨＡＰＰＹ.ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥＳ.ＤＡＹ」♥ *+

Valentines Day Letters!

pixels - diary and checkboxes

HappyValentinesDay[[♥]]

update;

Backgrounds - Butterflies

made some new friends :)

new photoshop picture + TAG from pu3 (and KONAYACHI sorry Dx) ~~

super old survey thing i found, and i'm bored xD

lava lamp.

cruisin' with SoLo...

so boreddd....

blahblahblah. ugh. my lip T - T... [[superbowl]]

my lip hurts...

2.4 - I'm 19 - I don't feel this old [[♥]]

new mp3 player via lightinthebox.com

Random Posts Code~!

meowmeow~

hopefully today will be better.

sick | stressed | nana

fuck you.

new button!

heart dividers

[kyary inspired] heart blush!

dr. appointment >.< ugh

h e a r t k i l l e r

Scribble - Self Portrait

we match :)

random scribble~

edits for Briana

c o n f e d `a n t

My "Therapy Session" on PsychSim5.

Heart Border Scrollbox Code!

Poem - Nocturna #4

This one of the coolest videos i've seen.

if you have a Facebook...

i shaved a heart into the side of my head.

I saved my last breath for your window, to write you this song.

Poem - Nocturna #3

i feel like a bad ass.

sad cloud, happy cloud :3

i'm a panda :3

Forever21 has the cutest sweaters :o [[+vlog]]

Poem - Nocturna #2

new self pixels :)

pixel paintings

Poem - Nightmare #5

i eat chinese food religiously.

Drawing - Brielle

my last day at Target was today. [[dollar$tore$hopping]]

pictures from morp~

Photography - Tsuki-Chan

Poem - They're all wrong

i just got hit in the face with a chocolate coin.

Twitter HTML Code (old)

updates to my site :)

Curves - BurningLeaves

Curves - Contradiction

Curves - AmethystGlow

Curves - If I Were Green I Would Die

Curves - SeafoamSmiles

+♥「ＨＡＰＰＹ.ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥＳ.ＤＡＹ」♥ +